Here Comes The Sun...
The Beatles classic from 1969, "...I feel that ice is slowly melting..." is hanging like ripe fruit ready to be harvested and eaten as the Sun enters Virgo and we enter this Dark Moon the first of two new moons in Virgo. Prior - the rune ruling was Thurisaz, the Magician's hat (think cone hat like LOTR's Gandalf), where fire (Kenaz) collides directly with ice (Isa), this is Creation, the Big Bang, dear Reader. Eat your heart out Neil DeGrasse-Tyson. The summer of 1969, the end of "innocence," with murders committed in the canyonlands of Hollywood - thus ending the phase of awakening that was beginning to grip America, which was fueled through art, music, expression, and psychedelics. Those ghosts are still around. What if we consult them? What would those spirits tell us about freedom, liberation, and the illusion (The Matrix) we as a collective find ourselves in?
I saw a video from Richard Grannon and his discussion of the relation of Vampires to narcissists- thus why I thought about Godric, the outlier of the whole damn arc, during this most auspicious time. If you aren't familiar with True Blood lore, Godric is ancient - a vampire who creates Eric (played by Alexander Skarsgård) - a royal of the Viking Era - if that's any indication of his age. His journey is unlike any of the others; he seeks enlightenment (the light), choosing to meet it, despite knowing it will destroy him.
I understand Jung never directly mentions the Empath-Narcissist dynamic with direct terms such as that - but what if the empath - living in chirality (I wrote about that here - https://feathers-in-the-snow.ghost.io/when-the-bough-breaks/ chooses to shine - shine in the ecstasy - they say the Shaman is a Technician of Ecstacy - there is a deep connection, Dear Reader. What if the empath is the Godric and Sookie archetypes together on that roof, combined as the sun crosses the horizon at dawn? The one who has had to twist to live in a polished, yet fake reality, yet chooses light (regardless of the horror), and weeps in mourn and ecstasy simultaneously?
It had been millennia or more since Godric had seen the sun - it felt like that for me as I spent 9 years with a malignant narcissist - it was not dissimilar to the Biblical tribulation - those last 3.5 years were sheer terror - and I did something crazy brave - I added ayahuasca to the mix. I don't recommend that path for anyone who isn't anointed to survive it - somehow, by grace, I was.
I had many a co-conspirator in the unseen, yet it was I who needed to walk through it all - and from a spiritual perspective - I shall not candy coat it - I saw though deep illusions cast that the Gnostics knew not of when they spoke of Archons. This Virgo new Moon energy has shown me discernment: naming the counterfeit. Showing that the Empath isn’t just prey to vampires, but also a Seer of what masquerades as cosmic order.
This is Thurisaz initiation, Dear Reader — the thorn, the strike, the clash of fire and ice. True awakening isn’t a gentle birth. Even with the Mother’s milk, even with allies in the unseen, the final push is ours alone. Like Godric, like the butterfly, like the solstice sun itself, we must choose to rise. And in doing so, we see not just the masks of vampires, but the deeper masquerade — the Leviathan spirit cloaking itself as law, as order, as Archon. I saw it. And once you see, you cannot unsee. Perhaps that is the magic and the mystery of Thursiaz's Old Norse Rune Poem translated as: Giant causes women's sickness; few are glad at bad luck." Let's start with the latter: schadenfreude in your life? Stop - Halt - Cease and desist immediately if not sooner - the rune is telling you FEW - don't be the few, be the none, folks. And as to women's sickness? What if the womb is Jotunn by nature? A Giantess where the fire and ice of creation collide? Has anyone ever given a fuck about that? I most certainly do. Consider, if you will, the Thursiaz's rune as the cone hat of Gandalf, the witch in so much lore, that's the inverted birth canal and wombspace. dear Reader.
Given all this, I offer that the empath is not only a survivor of narcissistic horror, but is a Seer, Technician of Ecstasy, witnesses who name the counterfeit and call forth the true order. One must survive and integrate this experience - with a heart open - is yours open?
One of my teachers from the Andes said "we don't perform divination much for ourselves." For me? I find not only is divination helpful, it is imperative - BUT I have reached a space where I surrender to the message - perhaps THAT'S the key - seeing my triggers and why and how to better react over the last 18 months has been illuminating for me. Thus, for me, the title of this piece. I am willing to sacrifice it all for clarity; perhaps that's why I find my Padrino and Madrina are Odin and Frigg. I am the Godric in the Saga of my own existence, one who is willing to burn knowing I will not survive, whilst simultaneously being Sookie, the Fae who weeps at what must be burned away and the love she feels at the purity of the sacrifice. Honestly, dear reader, I do not know how I became this amalgam – it defies literally everything.
I leave you with this -
What are two materials, entities, spirits, different yet made into one?
It's so funny how we see things so clear when we have no time left to live
It came with smiles, it came with gestures, and it came with motives
When I thought all I needed was just... one breath
One breath to stay afloat, but this isn't a boat, it's a coffin
I try to drown in my sorrow; but the sorrow, sorrow swims well.
Lust for complete nothing that lusts for more nothing
It makes sense when you adjust the lights
Where is that grace that carries me out?
No there's no light in the darkest of your furthest reaches
Mending the cuts of your prosthetic faith
Let the wheel's burn, let the wheel's burn
Stack the tires to the neck with a body inside
Shroud of virtue hung to mask your stigma
Why then are you so surprised when you hear your own eulogy?
And only this one holy medium brings me peace of mind
I sure could use a vacation from this bullshit three-ring circus sideshow of freaks
Your friendship is a fog that disappears when the wind redirects
Make a move and plead the fifth 'cause ya can't plead the first
You'll never silence the voice of the voiceless
If your mind's in a somewhat complacent state, get a check up
Seeds the angle to fair co-patients what's been aging
Ignites the distance between us while between us was silent
Stalled now we are creeping to staleness at our safety's displace
Call this anaerobic example in line with a perfect lie
