When Love Comes To Town...
I keep repeating the lyrics "but I did what I did before love came to town" over and over like an anthem. When Love Comes to Town by U2 and B.B. King was released in March 1989 - I was in 9th grade in my country high school taking Latin of all things thinking I'd end up a physician. I hadn't forgotten the act of sacred rebellion in kindergarten where I rounded up a few friends to go play in the "hospital" set-up in one of the rooms. EMTs had come to show the students the workings of an ambulance - it was loud and unsettling to me, someone who was surrounded by noise from an unstable parent- I'd rather go play and pretend I could help someone -when it was me who needed it the most. I endured two painful, and quite frankly abusive beatings that day for my actions - and yet I still dreamed of being that sacred rebel - the healer.
Sacred rebels are NOT without a cause - that's some Hollywood dream team shit with James Dean. No, the sacred rebel pays in the end as did Jake and Elwood in the Blues Brothers.
The Blues Brothers, based upon the hit skit on SNL was released in 1980 with a who's who cast and musical talent. Two criminal siblings Jake and Elwood both doing time in the Clink (Joilet Penitentiary). Upon release, they discover from "The Penguin" that the orphanage they were raised in is in arrears with a tax burden. "The Penguin" being the last of the nuns that raised them - both a holy woman and a mob boss - sounds about right. Anyhow - she tells the brothers they must redeem themselves - they find that message of redemption in a Baptist Church of all places.
In my last piece, As For Me and My House, I detailed at length some of my experiences with Southern Baptists, and through it all, I was the one who defined my faith, not the church - I failed to mention, dear reader, that it wasn't all red-faced blowhards and bullshit. There was authenticity. There was a pastor, Grady (I won't post his last name as he passed some time ago), that I thought the world of. He was a Battle of the Bulge veteran and my grandfather of the Battle of Guadalcanal. The two of them connected and I believe Grady was instrumental in assisting my grandfather in his healing journey from the war. I have a bible that my grandfather's sister had given him in 1944 - its held together to this day with the masking tape he put on the spine. Her message to him was simple "Put your trust in this book." I'm not sure he did entirely before Grady became the pastor at our small hillbilly church - and perhaps the two of them, like Jake and Elwood found their redemption assisting each other through their sacred journeys of life after so much sacrifice and immense tragedy.
I hadn't ever thought about being from a legacy of sacred rebels until now - my grandfather was a poet and pretty damn good photographer despite never even finishing elementary school - then my uncle came along who wrote songs and my grandfather refused to purchase the copyrights. It has been a thorn in my line since - the wounding of that - one that I hope this piece helps to mend.
My grandfather, was from my ancestral research, at least a third-generation sharecropper. Census after census details the inability of my kin to neither read nor write and neither did they own the land they sowed. I sit here with a Master's in Chemistry, dear reader, if you don't think that sinks me to my knees in gratitude and tears at my ancestral altar, you best think again.
My sacred rebellion, to rise above what my ancestors had endured to succeed where they failed, was motivated not out of love, but out of shame. I hated being from rural North Carolina with a Germanic last name no one could spell much less pronounce. I hated that because I had a Southern accent no one wanted to take me seriously - I hated that I was blond-haired and blue-eyed because they all thought I was just some ditz. So much resilience was programmed in the blood that flows through my veins, it creates the scaffolding of the very bones that carry me, and yet I couldn't see it because of bullshit from society and my childhood trauma. In essence - "I did what I did..." and now I know why.
It was no different for Jake and Elwood - they needed to hear Reverend Cleophus James' (James Brown) uplifting sermon - I needed to recognize the powerful spiritual path that I had been on since early childhood - it was always there yet I had forgotten - like a child who forgets the joy of Christmas until spirits present a reminder. Once the Blues Brothers receive the message of saving the orphanage through song - they understand what is to be done - their path is set.
All throughout the film the brothers are nearly thwarted in their quest - and yet protection is always there, every step takes them closer to their goal - performing the blues to save the orphanage. They of course, make the money, get to the tax man to save the orphanage then subsequently hauled off back to jail for the string of crimes committed along the way - yet they're not alone in jail - the entire band is with them as they complete their sentence.
The path to redemption of the sacred rebel was never promised to be easy, in fact, dear reader, it's quite the opposite. There are mistakes made and even worse - enemies. Being authentic and expressing your truth will, at the very least, ruffle feathers if not outright create enemies. If you are to be the cycle-breaker of your lineage, you have to be prepared for that reality. Not everyone is going to want to hear (or read in this instance) what you have to say - in fact, it quite possibly will be twisted, turned upside down, and weaponized against you. Stay aligned to your True North - this is your path, no one else's.
As for me, every day presents its blessings and challenges - I stay in gratitude for all of it. This, of course, is much easier said than done, and even more challenging with a corporate America career - nonetheless I will persist. I hope you will too. There's an old gospel song we used to sing " Love Lifted Me." My favorite part of that hymn is "When nothing else could help, Love lifted me." Love not only came to town - it's a liberating force. I'm not speaking of romantic love - that's a fallacy - this is the unconditional love of the self -one that is unflinching in the face of any adversary.
Before love came to town, I ran from my truth. Now? I run toward it. And I don’t stop for anyone.
I leave you with Whispers of the Brave,
In shadows where silence does creep,
Rebels rise, their voices run deep.
Dare to dream, dare to shout,
Break the chains, let truth out,
And wake all the dreamers from sleep.
